Transcript of ‘The Sevenfold Crown’

Kerr Avon 

Paul Darrow

Vila Restal 

Michael Keating

Del Tarrant 

Steven Pacey

Dayna Mellanby 

Angela Bruce

Soolin 

Paula Wilcox

Orac and Slave 

Peter Tuddenham

Servalan 

Jacqueline Pearce

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King Gheblakon 

Pip Donaghy

Doctor Kapple 

Christian Rodska

Lieutenant Vledka 

Graham Padden

Jelka 

Janet Dale

Others

Played by Simon Carter, Kim Durham, Cornelius Garrett, Susan Jeffrey, Katherine Mount, Rob Swinton:

Flandar 

Wempin 

Gradzil 

Assorted Feds 

Various Torellans

Tourists

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[Sound of wolf-snakes howling and a whip]

AVON 

Ugh-ah!

SERVALAN 

Twenty three.

AVON 

Ugh!

SERVALAN 

Twenty four.

AVON 

Aeigh!

SERVALAN 

Why don’t you beg for mercy, Avon?

AVON 

Never! [whip] Urgh!

SERVALAN 

Twenty five. Now...which would be more enjoyable? To flog you to death—it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hundred strokes—or to leave you tied to the stake to be eaten by the wolf-snakes? A faster death, certainly, but possibly even more painful in the end. Yes...much better.

AVON 

Surely you wouldn’t deprive me of the pleasure of your company, Servalan?

SERVALAN 

[laughs] Believe me, the pleasure is all mine, my dear. There, you see—I feel almost affectionate towards you now that I have you in my power at last.

AVON 

You’d better kill me quickly. You’re alone down here. When Scorpio comes back you’ll have no chance—

SERVALAN 

Scorpio has been destroyed, and your motley crew are on their way to a fair trial. Correction—on their way to as unfair a trial as I can arrange. In any case I can’t stand here chatting. Now don’t worry about the wolf-snakes. You’ll probably die of shock long before they’ve chewed their way through to any vital...organ. Take me up, commander. Goodbye, Avon.

AVON 

Servalan! [sound of wolf-snakes attacking] No, not again. Augh! Help! Help! Help! Aaaaugh!

DAYNA 

Avon! Avon, wake up!

AVON 

Get them off! No...no...

DAYNA 

Wake up!

AVON 

What...Dayna?

DAYNA 

You were having a bad dream.

AVON 

It was...Servalan was there...

DAYNA 

You’re needed on the flight deck.

AVON 

[now fully awake] Why?

DAYNA 

Slave’s spotted a Federation ship headed our way, and there seems to be trouble with—

AVON 

Come on!

[Scorpio flight deck]

SLAVE 

ETA Federation vessel 2.3 minutes.

TARRANT 

Can you make out what type of ship it is?

SLAVE 

Negative, master.

TARRANT 

Orac?

ORAC 

Mark three Star class battle cruiser. Armament: 12 heavy duty laser disintegrators, 64 bio-seeking torpedoes, 132—

TARRANT 

All right, all right, that’ll do.

SOOLIN 

For God’s sake, Tarrant, use the reserve cells.

TARRANT 

Slave.

SLAVE 

Yes, master

TARRANT 

Execute hyper-jump. Utilise all energy banks, repeat all. Maximum velocity.

SLAVE 

Insufficient power, master.

TARRANT 

Don’t argue, just do it.

SLAVE 

Oh, if you insist.

[Stardrive powers up then dies away]

SLAVE 

I told you so.

VILA 

What you might call...escapus interruptus.

TARRANT 

If you can’t find anything more helpful to say, Vila, I’d advise you—

AVON 

[entering flight deck] Slave! Give me a status report.

SLAVE 

Federation vessel approaching on interception course. Within firing range in one minute 25 seconds.

SOOLIN 

And there’s not enough power to outrun them on the reaction drive.

VILA 

What did you expect? Our cutting-edge state-of-the-art new photonic thingummy was never meant to run on a couple of old torch batteries. We’re running out of juice!

AVON 

Thank you, Vila. Slave, report fuel status.

SLAVE 

6.359 percent of capacity, master. I blame myself, I should have warned you, but I,  I foolishly made the assumption that you had made plans to—

FED VESSEL 

[hailing them] Freighter. Identify yourself.

AVON 

Slave. Maximum power available. Stand by for hyper-jump.

SLAVE 

Uh, yes, master.

TARRANT 

D‎’you think we haven’t tried that?

AVON 

Quiet! At my command, execute lateral double hyper with a two nanosecond interval. Minimum velocity.

SOOLIN 

Oh, well done!

FED VESSEL 

[at the same time] I say again: identify and give the password.

SLAVE 

Fifteen seconds.

FED VESSEL 

State your identification code, or I fire.

SLAVE 

Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two ...

AVON 

Now!

[a muffled boom, a warbling sound, another boom]

DAYNA 

It’s vanished!

AVON 

That’s right—into hyperspace. It’ll be several light-years away by now.

VILA 

But...I don’t get it.

SOOLIN 

It’s simple, brilliantly simple. There wasn’t enough power to make a run for it, but there was enough to jump in and out of hyperspace. Right, Avon?

AVON 

What you’d call doubling back on ourselves, Vila.

VILA 

Oh, I see...I think.

DAYNA 

And the two nanoseconds?

AVON 

You were in the Federation space service, Tarrant. Tell her.

TARRANT 

It takes forty seconds for a Federation ship to make the jump.

DAYNA 

Mm-hmm?

TARRANT 

As analogous hyper-time—meta-time—runs twenty million times faster, we jumped back at the precise moment they jumped in.

SOOLIN 

As far as they were concerned, we were the ones who vanished.

TARRANT 

It seems I have to thank you for saving my life, Avon.

DAYNA 

Don’t strain a muscle, Tarrant.

AVON 

Orac, why didn’t you suggest that?

ORAC 

You didn’t ask me.

AVON 

There’s not enough power to keep playing the same trick. We’ve got to find some more fuel, or next time we’ll be sitting on the duck pond waiting for a torpedo up our tail-feathers.

VILA 

Oh, very poetic.

[Xenon base]

DAYNA 

Servalan’s base? You want to raid Servalan’s HQ?

VILA 

[while eating] He’s flipped at last, Dayna. I could see it coming. Don’t you want that lizard burger?

DAYNA 

Oh, it’s disgusting. Take it.

AVON 

Surprising as it may seem, Vila was right. Scorpio’s energy banks can’t cope with the demands of the photonic drive. Where are we going to find spare high-capacity energy cells if we don’t raid a Federation dump?

DAYNA 

Yes, but Furno? Of all the planets in the galaxy?

VILA 

[eating the burger] Yeah, like shoving your head in the lion’s mouth. Mm...yum-yum.

AVON 

That dream of mine was no ordinary one. It was so vivid that it still seems real.

DAYNA 

So?

AVON 

I think Servalan was controlling it. Generating it in some way.

VILA 

[mouth full] Flipped did I say? Turning double somersaults, more like.

AVON 

Aren’t you supposed to be relieving Tarrant?

VILA 

[still eating] I’ve got...three and a half minutes more. [he pauses to check his watch] Mm, I tell a lie—three and a quarter.

DAYNA 

You mean Servalan has some new scheme?

AVON 

Precisely. If she’s started playing psionic games, wouldn’t it be a good idea to know exactly what. If we go to Furno, maybe I can find out.

DAYNA 

And maybe that’s just what she wants you to do.

AVON 

Ah, I should hate to disappoint her.

VILA 

[getting up] Well, rather you than me.

AVON 

You’ll be coming with me. I may need your special talents.

VILA 

Now, wait a minute.

AVON 

You’ve got some tomato ketchup on your chin.

[Scorpio flight deck]

SLAVE 

Visual contact of Furno available.

AVON 

Show me. [he looks at the screen] Mm, good.

SOOLIN 

Which one is Furno?

AVON 

There—the one with the three moons.

TARRANT 

I have grave doubts about this whole enterprise. A Federation base? D’you really think we’ll be able to get anywhere near without their spotting us?

SOOLIN 

He’s got a point, you know.

AVON 

If we stand off at maximum teleport range, we stand a good chance.

TARRANT 

Yes, a good chance of being blown out of the sky.

SLAVE 

If you’ll pardon my presumption, master, may I make a suggestion?

AVON 

Well?

SLAVE 

If we mask our approach by the largest of the moons, we could hide behind it in a matching orbit.

SOOLIN 

Brilliant! Well done, Slave.

AVON 

Good. Do it then.

SLAVE 

Yes, master.

[whining sound decreasing in pitch and volume]

SLAVE 

Deeply sorry, master. Computation of approach curve too complex for my humble navigational circuits.

TARRANT 

Brilliant! Well done, Slave.

AVON 

Orac, patch yourself into the control net and take us in.

ORAC 

Certainly. I suggest that fifty kilometres from the surface of the moon should meet your requirements.

AVON 

Soolin will remain on board. Vila and I will try to get into Servalan’s quarters, while Tarrant and Dayna make for the fuel store. That is, if you decide to honour us with your presence.

TARRANT 

Oh, very well, whatever you say. Your liquidation will make a handy diversion at least.

VILA 

Do you mind?

SLAVE 

Designated orbit established, fifty kilometres from surface. And may I take this opportunity of saying how sorry I am—

AVON 

No, you may not.

SLAVE 

—and how grateful I am to my fellow computer—

AVON 

Slave, be quiet. Right. Stand by to take us down, Soolin.

SOOLIN 

Very well.

[On the planet’s surface; Avon, Vila, Tarrant, and Dayna materialise]

DAYNA 

What a horrible place, nothing but rocks. It’s like an enormous quarry.

AVON 

It’s only used as a refuelling station for the Federation Space Fleet. That’s why it suits Servalan while she’s going under the name of Commissioner Sleer. She’s not likely to run into anyone who’ll recognise her as the old Supreme Empress on a dump like this.

TARRANT 

Yes, may I suggest we got on with it?

DAYNA 

Who wants to hang about? I’m freezing.

TARRANT 

That’ll be the fuel store, over there, the other side of the main complex, the block without any windows. They always keep it away from the living quarters. Come on, Dayna.

[they walk off]

VILA 

How can we tell which of those bungalow things is hers?

AVON 

Well, she always seems to be dressed for a party, does our Servalan. She couldn’t have much of a ball in one of those little huts, now could she?

VILA 

You mean it’s that big one? The one with the dome?

AVON 

No wonder you and Slave get on so well. We’ll go in from the back, up that alley on the left. [he walks away] Well, you coming?

VILA 

Oh. You mean now? Yeah...on my way. I thought you meant after we’d considered the options.

AVON 

Vila. Come on.

[they approach Servalan’s HQ]

AVON 

This is too easy. Where are the guards?

VILA 

I could do without them.

AVON 

They may be just around the corner, at the end of the alley, near my lady’s back door, so take it gently, OK? Gently does it.

VILA 

Hey, don’t leave me.

[they continue walking; there is a birdcall]

AVON 

Hold it!

VILA 

All right so far, as the man said when he fell off the Federation space building.

AVON 

Quiet, I thought I heard something.

VILA 

I want to go home. [sound of growling] Oh, my God! What is it? Look at those teeth! No, don’t fire at it, you’ll make it cross! [Avon fires, the roars increase in volume] I told you! Come on!

[Outside the fuel store]

TARRANT 

They’re built to a pattern, these stores. Only one way in, saves manpower. Ah, there it is.

DAYNA 

Presumably locked.

TARRANT 

Of course. Keyed to the palm-print of the regular guards.

DAYNA 

Oh. So how do we break in?

TARRANT 

We don’t. The guard’s relief will open it for us.

DAYNA 

And if he’s just been relieved?

TARRANT 

It’s only a three-hour shift.

DAYNA 

Oh, what a good thing I remembered to bring my fur pyjamas.

TARRANT 

Mm.

[Outside Servalan’s quarters—sound of growling]

VILA 

Now which way?

AVON 

Left again,  It’ll take us round to the side of the house.

VILA 

Did you see those claws? Eighteen inches long, those claws were. [pants] I can’t keep this up much longer.

AVON 

I think we’ve lost it.

[more growls]

VILA 

Augh!

WOMAN 

Quickly. Down here. It’s too narrow for it to follow. [more growls] This way.

VILA 

Come on then.

AVON 

No, wait. Who was that?

VILA 

Not Servalan, that’s for sure. Not with that red hair. Who cares? She’s on our side, isn’t she?

AVON 

Why should she be? And why should she want us to follow her?

VILA 

Unless you want to end up on Charlie’s dinner plate, I’d say we’ve got no option.

AVON 

Yes, pragmatic as always. Come on then.

[sound of crackling flames]

VILA 

Fire! Oh my God, fire! I can’t stand fire!

AVON 

Pull yourself together, man.

VILA 

I’d rather face the monster.

AVON 

Come back.

VILA 

Oh! We’re trapped, Avon, we’re trapped!

[Outside the fuel store]

DAYNA 

If you were the gentleman you pretend to be, you’d lend me your jacket.

TARRANT 

Quiet, Here he comes.

[guard approaches, opens the door]

TARRANT 

Now!

[Tarrant fires, the guard cries out]

GUARD 

[from inside] Shut that door, Fladgan. It took me three hours to get a fug up in ‘ere. [Tarrant and Dayna run inside] Fladgan? [Tarrant fires, the guard cries out]

DAYNA 

Are they dead?

TARRANT 

If they’ve got weak hearts. It’s a maximum stun clip.

[they open a sliding door]

DAYNA 

Well well well, an embarrassment of riches. Which ones are suitable for Scorpio?

TARRANT 

Search me.

DAYNA 

I thought you were in the service.

TARRANT 

I was an exec, not a grease-monkey.

DAYNA 

We’ll never lift these enormous ones. We’d better take the largest we can. I don’t want to go through this again for a very long time. What about these?

TARRANT 

Yamazuki Mark 5A, 35,000K. Should be all right. Good firm, Yamazuki. When I was seventeen I had a Yamazuki flivver-copter—

DAYNA 

Save it for the long winter evenings. Let’s get out of here.

TARRANT 

Mm, right. [opens bracelet comms] Soolin, do you copy?

SOOLIN 

I copy, Tarrant.

TARRANT 

Right, stand by to take us up.

GUARD 

You there! What do you think you’re doing?

TARRANT 

Take us up quick.

[they are teleported]

[outside Servalan’s quarters]

VILA 

[whimpering] Avon, do something. For God’s sake, I can’t stand it.

AVON 

[laughs] Of course. Listen, I know exactly what to do. Vila. [Vila sobs] Vila! Do precisely what I say. Close your eyes very tightly and count to ten, backwards, as loud as you can.

VILA 

What?

AVON 

Do it! Ten...nine...do it!

VILA 

Ten.

AVON 

Nine.

VILA 

Nine.

BOTH 

Eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...zero

[as they count down, the sounds decrease until it is quiet except for a birdcall as before]

AVON 

Open your eyes.

VILA 

It’s...it’s gone!

AVON 

It was an hallucination, all in our minds.

VILA 

Ahh.

AVON 

And the monsters, and our lady friend with the red hair.

VILA 

Pity, that. I was looking forward to getting to know her.

AVON 

All engineered by Servalan. Most gratifying.

VILA 

I could have found a better word.

AVON 

It proves I was right. Now all we need to find out is how she’s doing it.

VILA 

We’ve still got to get in.

AVON 

You’ll see, we’ll just walk in.

VILA 

Walk in? What about the guards?

AVON 

You’ve already met them. Come on.

[they start walking]

VILA 

If I get shot with an hallucinatory blaster, do I really die, or shall I just pretend?

[Scorpio]

SLAVE 

35,000K? Those are battle-cruiser energy cells. Forgive me, master, but may I point out that even the new drive is rated no higher than 14,000.

TARRANT 

So you’ll have all that extra power to play with, won’t you?

SLAVE 

One can but do one’s best. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

SOOLIN 

They’ll be no more use than a couple of Chinese firecrackers if you don’t get them fitted, Tarrant. According to these gauges, we’re down below the three percent mark. If another Federation ship turned up, the question would be academic to say the least.

DAYNA 

Unh. Come and show me how, Tarrant.

TARRANT 

It should be self-evident. Slave, life support and communications systems to auxiliary power.

[Tarrant and Dayna leave]

SLAVE 

Yes, master. At the risk of being irritatingly obvious, may I point out that...oh!

SOOLIN 

What is it?

SLAVE 

Merely that while the energy cells are being changed, the ship will be immobile, and the teleport inoperable. I thought it might be—

SOOLIN 

Thank you, Slave. I am aware of that.

[outside Servalan’s door]

AVON 

Right. Get us in.

VILA 

Hey, look! On my son-scan—it’s an old meta-tumbler lock. I thought they went out with the Ark.

AVON 

Never mind the running commentary. Can you open it?

VILA 

Press the button.

AVON 

What?

VILA 

It’s not locked.

[Avon opens the door]

AVON 

What did I tell you? She thinks she’s safe.

[they enter and hear voices in the distance]

FED 1 

Chef’ll go spare.

VILA 

Now what?

FED 1 

He will, he’ll go spare I tell you.

FED 2 

Yeah, but...

AVON 

Get back.

VILA 

Shall I blast them?

AVON 

Quiet.

FED 1 

[clattering of dishes] She’s hardly touched it. That’s the third time this week.

FED2 

Yeah, you’ll end up by peeling spuds in the galley, you bet ya.

VILA 

Oh, God, he’d seen us.

AVON 

You there!

FED 2 

Yeah?

AVON 

Is that how you address an officer on Furno?

FED 2 

Yeah, oh—oh, no sir. No, sorry sir, but, er, it’s just that I haven’t seen you around and uh—

AVON 

Hardly surprising since we’ve only just arrived. I have an urgent dispatch for Commissioner Sleer. Which is her room?

FED 2 

Last door on the left, sir. But you won’t find ‘er in there. I just come out of there meself—

AVON 

Never mind, never mind. Come along...signalman.

VILA 

Yes...commander. Coming...sir.

FED 1 

Tsk. Cocky ‘b’. They’re all the same, the active service lot.

FED 2 

Yeah. Now how was I supposed to know he was a flamin’ officer when he wasn’t even in uniform...

AVON 

Last door on the left.

VILA 

Why couldn’t I be an officer too?

AVON 

Let’s hope he was telling the truth.

[the door slides open]

VILA 

Does herself well, doesn’t she? [the door closes] That’s a real slupskin rug! Don’t think much of her taste in wallpaper though. I like something a bit more...you know...tasty. If you know what I mean.

SERVALAN 

[approaching from another room] I see no reason why you shouldn’t go back to your research, Dr Kapple. You’ve done sterling work for me. I shall always be grateful.

AVON 

[at the same time]  Listen...Quick—behind the couch!

SERVALAN 

[entering the room] What I don’t understand, Dr Kapple, is why it has taken you so long to decipher the text.

KAPPLE 

Ah-hah, yes—

SERVALAN 

Surely it is because of what you read that you...acquired the stone for me in the first place. May I offer you a drink?

KAPPLE 

Ooh, ye—thank you, no, I find it interferes with my uh...you see, the pictograms of the first empire...alcohol, I mean it interferes with my concentration, ha ha...what was I saying? Oh, yes, yes. The pictograms of the outer planets of the first empire are hardly my field, you see, they’re hardly my field, ha. I recognised enough words to realise the importance of the stone which is why I...well, not to mince words...I purloined it from the museum for you.

SERVALAN 

For which I shall be eternally in your debt. [Kapple sniggers] I have wondered, however, why you should have taken such a risk.

KAPPLE 

I’m old-fashioned perhaps, but it seemed to be demanded of me by simple loyalty.

SERVALAN 

Loyalty?

KAPPLE 

Yes.

SERVALAN  

I don’t understand.

KAPPLE 

When you visited the institute, I recognised you at once as our Empress.

SERVALAN 

Did you indeed? You’re very perspicacious, sir. [Kapple laughs] And I am most grateful to you for bringing me the stone.

KAPPLE 

Oh, but now that I’ve had a chance to work on the text, it appears that it’s even more...Here, see for yourself. I’ve made several copies of the original document for you, annotated where appropriate, ha. I, I must say, ma’am, the stone looks very handsome as a pendant.

SERVALAN 

A convenient way of having its powers in my control, that’s all. Are you saying that you now know the whole of its provenance?

KAPPLE 

Er, not its first origin, no. But...but what I have learned, dear madam, if you think that the present powers of the stone, the control of dreams and hallucinations—

VILA 

Hear that?

AVON 

Quiet!

KAPPLE 

—the awareness of hostility, the rudimentary psychokinesis, if you think that these are... [he giggles] ...well, you can never imagine what power it would confer upon the wearer if it were to be replaced in the coronet, the diadem of King Gheblakon. The possibilities are unlimited.

SERVALAN 

Very satisfactory. I shall make a visit to his majesty a priority. Though I can’t help feeling that there is even more to be learned from this document.

KAPPLE 

Ohh, certainly, ha. The hieroglyphics on the drawing of this structure, this truncated pyramid—if you can call a seven-sided body a—this polyhedron, shall we say? The hieroglyphics are of a quite different nature, and immeasurably—and I use the word advisedly— immeasurably earlier in period. You see, if simple pictograms [Servalan sighs] develop as they inevitably do, into syllabic symbols, there’s no way of reading them without some knowledge of the original language.

SERVALAN 

Mm-hmm.

KAPPLE 

[laughs] As I used to say to my students, ‘a code without a key is about as useful as a code id the doze. [he snorts nerdily] They found it most humorous.

SERVALAN 

Mm. Well, thank you, Dr Kapple, I think—

KAPPLE 

Here, certainly, there is an iconographic symbol which clearly represents a coronet or diadem—

SERVALAN 

Yes, Doctor, thank you but that—

KAPPLE 

Though of course there is no way of knowing whether it has retained that meaning...and here...

[Scorpio - Tarrant and Dayna are working on the drive]

TARRANT 

Try now.

DAYNA 

Unh. Still stuck.

SOOLIN 

[over comms] What’s keeping you?

TARRANT 

Corroded terminals. As you might expect on an old rust-bucket like this.

SOOLIN 

Well, get a move on.

DAYNA 

Oh, what a good idea. Why didn’t we think of that?

[Flight deck]

SOOLIN 

Slave. Is there anything to report?

SLAVE 

Negative, mistress.

ORAC 

There soon will be.

SOOLIN 

What is it, Orac?

ORAC 

You are of course familiar with the standard operational procedures and regulations for planetary guard ships in the Federation Fleet?

SOOLIN 

Of course. Remind me.

ORAC 

As you are familiar with them, that will not be necessary. [Soolin sighs] I would however call your attention to clause 3A subsection 22.

SOOLIN 

Thank you. And?

ORAC 

The implication should be obvious even to a relatively inferior member of the race of homo sapiens. [Soolin sighs] However, self-preservation renders it expedient for me to tell you.

SOOLIN 

[mutters] Oh, good.

ORAC 

A guard ship, probably of the so-called Eagle class, will launch from the base on the third moon in maximum 32, minimum 4, minutes time—

SOOLIN 

Oh!

ORAC 

—and will be in visual contact in 3.6 minutes of lift-off. [Soolin gasps] I would suggest that your friends should—as you so eloquently put it—get a move on.

[Servalan’s HQ]

KAPPLE 

And frankly my dear...Commissioner [he snorts coyly] I should think it highly unlikely that anyone else could decipher them either—barring the discovery of a latter-day Rosetta Stone of course. [he laughs]

SERVALAN 

So there’s nothing more you can do for me?

KAPPLE 

Er, I’m afraid...well...no.

SERVALAN 

Then I shall keep you no longer from your packing. Goodbye, doctor, and thank you once more.

KAPPLE 

A pleasure, dear lady.

SERVALAN 

Oh—have you told anyone else of your...your penetration of my little deception upon the world?

KAPPLE 

Of course not!

SERVALAN 

Of course not. Thank you, Dr Kapple. I shall make sure you are suitably rewarded for your services.

KAPPLE 

Oh, dear lady, there’s no nee—

SERVALAN 

Thank you, doctor.

KAPPLE 

I’m overcome...

SERVALAN 

Thank you, doctor. Goodbye, doctor. Thank you.

[he leaves and Servalan presses the intercom button]

VLEDKA 

[over comms] Yes, Commissioner?

SERVALAN 

Who is that?

VLEDKA 

Vledka, madam.

SERVALAN 

Good. Lieutenant Vledka, Dr Kapple has just left my quarters. He has outlived his usefulness to me. See to it.

VLEDKA 

Yes, Commissioner. At once.

[Servalan shuts off the intercom]

SERVALAN 

You’d better come out now. Yes, you behind the couch. [Avon and Vila emerge] Avon! Vila! How good of you to call. Did you enjoy the little welcome I arranged for you?

AVON 

To be frank, I’m amused that you should have descended to such childish tricks.

VILA 

Yeah, me too, I fell about laughing.

SERVALAN 

Indeed? Then here’s something else for you to tickle your sense of humour. That gun you’re holding on me, Avon, is quite useless. Believe me.

AVON 

There’s one way to find out.

[he fires; there is a loud click]

SERVALAN 

[laughs] You see? You heard the good doctor mention psychokinesis as one of the powers of this stone.

AVON 

Rudimentary, I believe he said.

SERVALAN 

For the moment, yes. But quite efficient enough to block such a simple mechanism only a couple of yards away.

AVON 

And if I take this stone from your neck?

SERVALAN 

You’re welcome to try. But are you man enough?

AVON 

How could I resist...such a courteous invitation?

VILA 

Get on with it for Pete’s sake.

AVON 

Well? Are you going to give it to me?

SERVALAN 

How can I stop you taking it? [a searing sound; Avon gasps in pain] Did he burn himself? Poor baby.

VILA 

So now what? We’re pushing our luck, Avon. Let’s get out of here while we’re still in one piece!

AVON 

Vila, please. I’m thinking.